It has come to my attention that little is known about the advent of beer in ancient Egypt. According to Cormac Teige MacCarthy, Lord of Blarney (early 1600s), it was a distant ancestor of his who introduced the well-beloved beverage to the ancient Egyptians, indeed, to the gods themselves.

An account of the bringing of beer to the ancient Egyptians has been handed down through the generations of Blarney Lords and has recently been studied. It holds some credence, though it seems slightly unreal.

A distant uncle of Lord Cormac Teige MacCarthy sailed with a small crew out of Cork. They had many daring adventures such as avoiding an odd pair of much-too-happy Gauls (incidentally named Asterix and Obelix), banishing a large sea monster to Scotland, and giving directions to a lost Greek looking for someone named Atlas. Finally, old Uncle Cormac made land in the country of Egypt. It was not known as Egypt at that time, but Kemet. Finding the country quite odd, old Uncle Cormac naturally wanted to take a look around.

The country was in complete disarray. The people of Kemet had decided to rebel against their god, Ra. Old Uncle Cormac could see that this would come to no good end and told his men so. It was at that time the goddess Hathor came from Ra’s side and began to slay the wicked men who had rebelled against their king and god. Amazed, the Irishmen watched. Ra, however, was not so amused as they.

Ra leaned against the Irishmen’s ship and stared at the massacre before them.

“I’ve no idea how to stop her,” he muttered.

“I know how to stop her!” cried Cormac. He whispered into the ear of Ra. Intrigued, Ra agreed to help in the plan, hoping to save some of his subjects from Hathor’s wrath.

“But,” he said, “What you need is in Elephantine!”

“We’ve a ship. If ye’d be so kind as to guide us, Lord Ra, we’d be glad to help ye.”

Ra, being a kind god, guided the Irishmen’s ship to Elephantine where the Irishmen began a strange ritual, which Ra watched carefully. Upon finishing, the Irishmen gave Ra the brew and told him to lay it in the fields for Hathor.

When Hathor came across the brew, she stopped and had to taste it. Finding it pleasing, she continued to drink.

“Feeling better?” Ra asked her.

“Oh, yes, *hic!*” she said and grinned. Being quite happy, she began to dance and even jumped so high as to clear the moon. Anubis couldn’t help but laugh at her antics.

Ra thanked the Irishmen and asked them the name of the brew. “Why, ‘tis Guinness, my Lord!” old Uncle Cormac answered him.

Finding the name peculiar and nearly impossible to pronounce, Ra changed the name to henket. Satisfied their work was done, the Irishmen left to continue on their adventures.

According to this account, it was the Irishmen who introduced beer to the ancient Egyptians. Indeed, this introduction made Egypt a very happy place. Hathor no longer had a taste for revenge. Instead, she liked best the taste of beer and the sound of song. She instated her good friend Tenenet as goddess of beer and it was she who taught the people of Kemet the art of brewing beer. Ra, pleased with this outcome, retreated to his palace and insisted on drinking beer. He tried wine a few times, but quickly found beer was more to his taste and insisted that it be included in all offerings made to him.

Old Uncle Cormac returned home and wrote about his adventures, though they are not widely accepted. Indeed, upon reading the account in 1602, Queen Elizabeth I pronounced them to be little more than “a bunch of Blarney!”

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

May your Blarney and Beer flow freely!

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Tags: Ancient Egypt, beer, blarney, guinness, irish

This entry was posted by Page Strong on Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at 09:50 and is filed under Ancient Egypt, Just for Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.